A poem-The Moon

It's when the moon starts to glow 

Through the clouds late at night

An honest attempt 

To give light to the dark

And the world is all quiet 

Except for the moon and I 

That's when I cry out 

for reason

Or even some chaos 

A rustling of leaves 

Or a chirp from a bird

Or something in nothing

This silence just might be

The most deafening noise

That I've ever heard

Sometimes, I just wanna shout at the world

And make the birds and the leaves

Spring back to life

But I'm afraid that

I don't have all that much to say

So to what would this world be stirred?

Not sure why I'm shouting

Think I may need the attention

To have someone notice

I'm alive and I'm hurt

To hear a "Hello" 

Or maybe they'll miss me

Or maybe my kiss

On their lips has been missed

And another day of that would be nice

It's been almost a decade

Since I first met the moon

And I'm still all alone

Still staring at this luminescent sky 

And wishing this night would end

And these thoughts  get no further 

No matter how fast they race

No matter how much I try

I wake up wishing I hadn't

Reaching for my cigarette

And coffee

And conversation 

Or just another reason not to die

They're getting harder to find

Those reasons I gathered 

over the years

 I could stack in my back pocket

To look at in the storm

When the moon is blocked behind  gray clouds

But

My pocket's empty now

And it makes me wanna scream

I need a reason for tomorrow

But it feels like this won't change

Like I'm stuck here with these thoughts

And all this pain

And no refrain from this song

That won't stop playing late at night

I hate to be awake

There's tiny pains that I can't stop

Like my body's done with me

And cells are dying off

My body's giving up as well

And I know that I've neglected it

So I can't blame it 

Should it cease to work by dawn

I guess I'm just broken 

Inside and out

And hoping for a fix to the problem

A tool I could buy 

Screws to hold me tight

Or maybe a stronger bead of solder 

A fix that might last. 

And if not

Then maybe something to put an end to the rot

A bullet?

Some pills?

A song for the dark!

The moon is too bright

And the clouds are too thick

And this silence is tearing me down

The coffee's too bitter

And the smoke's choking me

And this talk is just going around

In circles like the moon

And won't ever end

Like the reach of the moons

Outstretched hands

Holding me captive 

And keeping me company