Sunday, July 28, 2013

If you read this, would you wanna keep reading?

If you read this, would you wanna keep reading? It's from a novella I'm working on, but this is killing me...do I start here, or do I start at the beginning? I wrote this part as a middle part, but I think it would make for a more interesting beginning, which would give me more room to play with the timeline and expose different players and motives in a more dramatic manner...any advice would be appreciated. :-)


Danny Ablo 

Maelstrom

     Danny Ablo sat motionless on the cold empty sidewalk as two police officers frantically searched his car. The third officer on the scene was tasked with keeping an eye on Danny. No other officers would be joining them, and Danny was aware of this. 
     He sat as stoic as the brick building behind him, but in his head he was running through all the potential endings to this scene; he would be arrested, and never see light again; he would catch a bullet from that third officer, and be remembered as the bastard who tried to kill a cop; he could run, and never stop...he couldn't see a happy ending.
      As hard as he tried, he couldn't find that angle that would let him slither out of yet another sticky situation. Cats have nine lives, he'd already run through that many this week alone. This would be his final chapter. When those officers find all that coke, it'll be over. Whether they kill him, and take it-or if they arrest him-this cloud had no silver lining.
     Waiting for the inevitable to happen, he stared at the ground. The handcuffs on his wrist chafed a bit, and it lent a bit of authenticity to the situation. This was really happening. It was over. Sadly, and what scared him the most, was that he didn't particularly care. There was nothing left for him to fight for. He'd lost it all, and this last paragraph in his story was really just filler. It was the overkill that makes a story less interesting. A bad ending. If he could have had that final shoot out, dying in a blaze of glory as the bullets ripped through him, he'd at least have an ending worthy of his character. But reality is hardly a fantasy. This is no novel, this is his  life. 
     The two officers came out of his car with the bag he'd tucked behind  his dashboard. They found that quickly.
     He knew who snitched.
     The third officer pulled the gun out of his holster and stood before Danny like a bad scene from some crappy detective show. Danny closed his eyes, and wished God were a better writer. If this was the best he could come up with for an ending, he belonged in a supermarket aisle, with some corny graphic on the cover. Only the title would suffice to salvage his reputation; D.Ablo...

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